Dear Friends,
I am sure some of you note and wonder why I do not take part in any VFP activities around Memorial Day/4th of July, Veterans Day and other parades and events. In fairness to you all I am sending my deeply felt internal reasons. You do not have to agree, and dissension is fine. All I ask is you respect my decision and understand my reasons. Any and all can disagree with my below work…that is what a democracy is about.
The last few years have been marked with overwhelming public pronouncements of “Thank you for your service.” Thank you is an ending to a discussion. Thank you…for what? If you want to thank me, spend a few hours with me discussing your reasons and my response. If you do that, I will accept your thank you. I also suspect you may change your mind.
Would a reasonable person thank me for violating the law? Or, thank you for willfully committing acts in direct violation of societies and your own moral code of ethics? When a person gives me their token and naive “Thank you” they are thanking me for breaking the law and the moral code I was raised to believe as sacred to my core as a human and member of society. The thank you is, for the majority, coming from people who have no clue what wartime service involves.
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When a select few of us graduated from a six-month special intelligence school in 1965, our graduation ceremony was in secret. The Commanding General issued a warning that we possessed the knowledge to drive any police force in the world crazy. The authorized use of military force gave us a get out of jail free card to break the law in the name of God and Country.
Thanking me for my service asks me to accept a gift, and glory for violating the law and my own moral code. That is cognitive dissonance to the max.
Some compare war traumas with civilian traumas. This is half true. In civilian world violations there are clear cut perpetrators and victims. True, victims often blame themselves. In war however, you are both the perpetrator and victim at the same time. We are the person being raped and the rapist.
There is no way to explain this to a stranger at a Veteran’s Day parade…better to not go then tell someone to kiss off for a mindless “Thank you.” Or, go away depressed and angry with no outlet for the bottled up emotions.
For me, war was/is a moral wound. The “S” in PTSD should be change to “Soul.” Post Traumatic Soul Disorder. I don’t think I am ever going to be ready for a parade and a hollow “Thank you” from some leaders that want to send more of us into the cauldron of war. And yes I am conflicted because I know we need a military.
Think for a moment about our response to a justified-police killing a criminal. The shooter is temporarily relieved from duty, given all kinds of support and society acknowledges the severity of the sacrifice. That is just the opposite of what is done in the military. I was told; “If we wanted you to have feelings we would issue them to you.”
Finally, there are for me, the insane tributes to the military men and woman “Who gave their lives…” Nobody gave their life like a church service offering. Life was torn from them in horrible ways and their future denied. We say a policeman “Lost” their life when killed in the line of duty. To say some 19-year-old “Gave” his or her life and forfeited their future may make you civilians feel better. It doesn’t make me feel better. In fact just the opposite.
Let me make it clear. I want no sympathy; don’t you dare saddle me with that. I am not a victim. I am a loved and loving survivor. Do not try and take me down with your misguided and potentially deadly concern that treats me like a crippled soul. If I harbor any doubt or guilt it would be from not having the courage to not go to Vietnam.
I have come to know that I served with bravery and honor in a war that for many of us had no honor. I am at peace with my decision to not march in, or attend, military centered parades and ceremonies for any reason with one exception. That exception is burial ceremonies. My participation in parades and other such events will not be used to send another young version of me to another war of choice.
Biographical notes:
Larry Slesser writes that he is a Medford High graduate in 1957, U. of O. graduate, 1961; SOU Master’s Degree “much later.”…was a Military Intelligence officer and served in Cuban Crisis of 1962 (2nd Lt.)…Vietnam 1965/66 (1st Lt). HQ Pacific/Hawaii April 1966 – August 1969 (1st Lt and Captain)…ROTC Instructor at Univ. of Washington/Seattle during anti-war years and student protests Sept. 1969 to August 1972. Left service after 10 years.
He was an Adjunct Professor teaching History of Vietnam War at SOU and COS Weed, CA in 1980’s. He was also the lead worker for Southern Oregon Vietnam Outreach Center for much of 1980’s, working with vets with trauma issues. In the summer of 1990, he traveled to the Soviet Union as a member of a 50-man Vietnam Vet team, invited by Soviet Afghanistan Vets to help them start their own Vet help programs.
Larry is a member of the Veteran’s for Peace Post #156 that meets monthly in Talent, OR and is working on issues of bullying within the Jackson County School system.
Responses to this article can be sent to: larryandliz@q.com
“If the Nuremberg laws were applied, every post-war US president
would be hanged” — Noam Chomsky
